Songs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCkpzqqog4k 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ie1wU9BLGn8

 

Poetry in Motion

This Storm

Standing in the dark, alone and under the rain, under an umbrella

Watching the storm, listening to the rain drops, the pitter patter

Its never-ending, this down pour we call a shower

Feeling lost, helpless, without reason or any power

Waiting at the crossroads, whichever way should I go?

So much to lose, so much change, where’ll it end or flow?

I am here, yet my mind is swept up by the winds, swirling

Imperfectly perfect, poised, everything is unfurling,

Inner turmoil, battling, picturesque, scenic.

Tired, poisoned, drowning, I’m feeling frantic.

Smile now, I’m breaking, cracking, bleeding through

Laugh now, I’m crying, falling, seeping through

I am strong, I am weak,

I am powerful, I am meek

Love me, leave me, hate me, believe me

Silently I wonder, where do we stand, where are we?

Should I stay or go? Come now before I fall

Into the eye of the storm.

 

Maybe Its Me

Perhaps it’s all in my head

Gas lighting, I flicker, I waive, unsure and unsteady on my feet

Diverting, what I said wasn’t what I meant at all

Like those Christmas lights out the window

And all the beautiful falling snow

Maybe the designs and lines they make, all imaginary

Beautiful faraway, yet up close just a pretty fantasy

Silent treatments, screaming, simmering- the storm rages for days on end

Calm, forced peace, silence, tense-the quiet returns for an uncertainty

My enemy, my friend, my lover, my executioner,

Love me, torture me, hate me, leave me,

Watching my steps, weary of the careful words,

Passive aggressive, walking on egg shells

Guilty, raging, crazy-making, frustrated

Maybe it’s just me; maybe it’s all in my head

 

Falling Apart

My love and the cause of my pain

We hate, we argue and we love- its all in vain.

We stand at opposite sides, polar ends apart

You and I-aren’t we breaking our own hearts?

Maker of our own happiness and suffering

Creating beautiful dreams, Seeing to their destructions in seconds

I am tired and wearied, burdened and torn apart

Battling with my own demons

We make hell look like a playground

A Personal View on Leadership

Four months into working as an art restorer and manager, I have understood many things amongst which human resources and management is one of the most important aspects. The four monks that I work with are wonderful individuals and yet at times they do have clashing personalities which make them at loggerheads most days. From an art restorer’s perspective, this is a good thing, as argument means that they are thinking about the sacred object they are working with, how much to restore, how much not to restore, what needs work, what doesn’t need to be touched in the slightest bit, what method to use that causes the least damage and so on. But being all males, it tends to get heated and also majority being from the valley of Haa(reputed for hot headedness), it tends to get even more heated. So management for constructive criticism and a consensual agreement is needed and also from time to time, a time-out or tea-break is taken so that we can put back things in perspective after cooling down.

Some days my weaknesses are uncomfortably staring me in the face, like today, I can’t help either of the two monks working on in-painting in a Thangka because I don’t know how to paint and would hinder their work rather than help. I am also a bit on the gentle side, and the monks I feel get frustrated that I don’t push things fast enough or hard enough. I try to be cool-headed and meticulous about things as I don’t want to make any mistakes and have the monks pay for it because I went and said or did the wrong thing. Yet it is very hard to work with the Monastic Body as well as the Government, the bureaucracy is unnerving and at times complicated that I wish to understand some of the dynamics before I dive in.

There is so much to do and so little time and no matter how much is done, there is still so much that is not done.

And since I wasn’t here before I don’t know if I make things worse or better or whether it is still the same? The monks tell me that it is more organized and they can restore things more efficiently now, but I still feel that it is only because I am here and when I go for holidays or long breaks, there is going to be the same problems all over again without me. I am hoping to organize their work by assigning them what to do and ofcourse a certain time frame to work in so that when I am back, they will have some work to present me and for me to assess before sending the sacred objects back to their respective monasteries.

 

“Leadership is about making others better as a result of your presence and making sure that impact lasts in your absence.” This was the redefined communal definition of leadership in the prestigious Harvard Business School in the US; or so I read in the book called Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facebook, that was given as a gift by a good friend to further inspire my otherwise busy life that had many blessings and an equal amount of shortcomings (all of my own making).

I didn’t intentionally go out there to become a leader or to make a name for myself, every opportunity I stumbled upon in my short 29 years on earth wasn’t intentionally planned to create fame and place myself on a pedestal to be admired. Whatever came my way, I went and did it because I believed in it, the cause I was working for and also more importantly because I had (and still have) a great support system- my ever supportive mother and family, my realist husband, our three children and all those who help me manage my home life so that I have time to go out and do what I love to do. And for those who still don’t believe, I feel extremely uncomfortable in any public situation and this usually manifests as clumsiness at exactly the most momentous moments; my family can very well vouch for my frequent idiocy at public functions.

A good leader doesn’t lead, he or she infact is good at understanding people and assessing situations and deciding the best outcome. In our Kingdom we are fortunate to have many wonderful living examples of great leaders- we have Their Majesties the Fourth and Fifth Kings of Bhutan, we have many members of the Royal Family and also we have many others who lead by example who are ordinary citizens with a passion of their cause.

A leader is not always someone who is in an elevated position in society to make a difference, a leader is someone who believes so passionately about making a difference that they bring together many individuals with a similar interest to create a lasting change or transformation within their communities. A leader is also someone who voices out what others are afraid to say but feel deeply about, a leader is someone who cares to make the change, someone who is willing to stand out and doesn’t mind not ‘fitting-in’ and ‘keeping your head down.’

To me, my mother is a wonderful example of a leader, yes she does not work and chose to stay home to take care of me many years ago and now chooses to help me take care of my children, but to me she is a leader because she is someone who stands by her word, she is loyal and she is forgiving and most of all she is selfless in many ways. My mother taught me the importance of truth, integrity, harmony, ethics, and family and Buddhist values and above all she taught me about doing what you believe in with humility and genuine feeling. She has taught me that no matter what others say or do, at the end of the day you are left with yourself and it is important to do whatever it is that you believe in with passion, with wholeheartedness and with love because it will give you great satisfaction and a sense of peace. She taught me to draw strength from within and to follow your heart and intuition and to always work with a clear head and good heart.

Some days I admit, I am not in the best of moods nor is every day a Sunday, but most days I head out of my bedroom with such intentions and hopefully they last throughout the day. I have long term goals for sure, but they are never set in stone, they are set on paper, to be erased, scratched out and changed or modified depending on the situation and circumstances. I also take it day by day, and as much as the perfectionist in me likes to bring myself down for not having done enough, I still try to give myself a pat on the back for finished ‘to-dos’ while giving myself a bit of ‘constructive criticism’ for not having done others.

Good leaders are great communicators, they are good at understanding people and being understood, a very important factor especially in a small society such as Bhutan. But what makes a truly great leader? It is someone who inspires, who looks beyond everyday and rises above circumstances to create a better future. I can think of many exemplar people in our Kingdom who inspire me, the Late Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche, His Majesty the Fourth King, Her Majesty Royal Grandmother Kesang Choeden Wangchuck, Dasho Benji, our wonderful medical staff who work tirelessly around the clock, the art restorer monks I work with, Rajesh the artist, and I could name so much more. Every person I have met and I know, they all inspire me in different ways and it is wonderful to be able to see and understand the beauty of their souls and minds.

An Interview with The Soma Society called Zangdo Palri:Dreams & Visions of Bhutan's Sacred Landscape

A website called The Soma Society, if you want to know a bit more visit their website at: http://thesomasociety.com/about-2/

Cristy asked me some questions on the book we had published called Zangdok Palri The Lotus Light Palace of Guru Rinpoche. *btw for those of you who are wondering what kind of a spaced out answer I gave, please note that I wrote the answers at two in the morning..my best time to work hehe
They are as below:)

1. Zangdo Palri is a book that illustrates the spiritual paradise of Guru Rinpoche, someone who is revered throughout the Himalayan region as a “second Buddha” and who traveled widely throughout Bhutan in the 8th century. Can you please share with us what Guru Rinpoche and his paradise, Zangdo Palri, mean to you? Is it a literal place or more of a metaphor for a way of orienting our lives towards wisdom and compassion?

Guru Rinpoche, in my personal view, was of course this dynamic and magnetic historical and spiritual personality that greatly influenced not only the Kingdom of Bhutan but almost the whole Himalayan region in some form or another. He is a real person who performed what seemed like miraculous feats but are, I think just what our minds and bodies may be capable of doing and yet are ignorant of. To me, Guru Rinpoche is very much a real person, and yet as is true to the essence of Buddhism, he is the embodiment of our own Buddha nature, of our true potential and selves that we seek in all forms of spirituality regardless of what religion one may believe or follow. He is not an all knowing, all seeing great being who is impossible to reach; he symbolizes what we hope to become and perhaps what we already have within us yet do not realize it. Individuals and humanity at large are capable of a greatness that encompasses love, compassion, wisdom and kindness; and for those of us who follow Tibetan Buddhism, I personally believe that Guru Rinpoche symbolizes and embodies this.

As for Zangdok Palri, Guru Rinpoche’s Lotus Light Palace, it may be an actual place. However for me it is a symbolic representation of our physical bodies that are palaces which hold the sacred object of our Buddha natures within. One must understand that everything including our selves, are experienced through the five senses; it is through these experiences that our mind perceives all phenomena, creating labels and views. Therefore Buddhism uses our habitual perceptions to develop and transform our minds through the use of incense, meditation and visualization, chants and prayers, prostration and pilgrimage. Thus by visualizing Guru Rinpoche’s palace and paradise, it helps one to train and transform the mind to understand the true nature of all phenomena, of which I am yet to grasp an inkling of.

 

 

2. In addition to your work as the editor of Her Majesty, Royal Grandmother’s book Zangdok Palri, and a writer and scholar of Buddhism, you are also actively involved with the Drukpa Council in Bhutan which seeks to preserve and promote the spiritual heritage of the Drukpa Kagyu lineage of Vajrayana Buddhism. Could you share some of your own personal thoughts on the ways in which these ancient lineages can benefit younger generations both within and outside of Bhutan?

 

My participation in the Drukpa Council is a very small part and it is because of the kindness of His Holiness XII Gyalwang Drukpa and His Eminence IX Khamtrul Rinpoche Jigme Pema Nyinjadh that I had an opportunity to participate in promoting and preserving the Drukpa Lineage. From my personal view, the times may have changed but people have not, we may have advanced in technology, medicine and many other things but we are still the same as ever inside even after many centuries. We still feel jealousy, anger and hatred, we are still ignorant in many ways. We may be knowledgeable yet we are lacking in wisdom. If we had advanced just as much in our minds as we have externally, I think we would have much less disharmony, less warring and killing, and much less suffering of our own creation.

Therefore Buddhism, in my personal opinion, is a deep psychological analysis, a kind of mental therapy if you will, to address our vices and faults that have gone on since the beginning of mankind. More than any other age, the 21^st Century is more to do with illnesses of the mind; we have depression, stress, and a lot of frustration and expressions of anger. I think Buddhism may be one of the available antidotes to such issues, however the way Buddhism is presented needs to be changed, the essence will remain the same, but I guess it needs to be ‘packaged’ or ‘marketed’ differently to appeal to the younger generation.

I find that many of the younger generation are not enamored by blind faith, rituals and rites that our parents and predecessors might have colluded to. They want to know how, when and most especially why; and also many of them believe in physically helping others, they don’t want to sit and pray, they want to actually help and pray which I think is a great way to help better understand not only the community and its needs but also helps one to understand ourselves better and what we are capable of.

 

 

3. Bhutan has recently adopted a democratic system. What advantages and disadvantages have you personally seen during the transition from monarchy to democracy? Do you think they can be effectively combined? Moreover, how do you feel monarchy can most effectively make a difference in the world in ways that democracy cannot?

 

I am fortunate enough to have been one of the individuals who grew up under a monarchy under the charismatic and most benevolent leadership of His Majesty the Fourth Druk Gyalpo, and as well as to have seen the process of change for the Kingdom of Bhutan into democracy.

Personally, I feel that in Bhutan we are most fortunate to have Kings that we love and who embody wisdom, integrity and compassion and who genuinely love and care for the people and kingdom of Bhutan. This country has come this far, independent and intact because of our kings and their love for us. They have protected, promoted and preserved the Kingdom not for their own glory or power and each king that we have had so far, has had the magnanimity and integrity of what a true leader embodies; and for this we are extremely lucky.

Democracy is a necessity, and I say this with some reluctance, yet it is true in some ways as many young Bhutanese citizens are interested in making changes with their own hands. I think democracy gives them a chance to make a change as well as make their mark in changing people’s lives.

And yes, as much as many would like to believe otherwise, Bhutan is also not untouched by corruption and all the vices that are evident in humanity. There are many individuals who play well and yet may not have the people or the kingdom’s best interest at heart. However our country is still new to democracy and I believe with time, the people will come to understand who will serve their best interests.

Can monarchy and democracy be effectively combined? There are some examples I have seen where His Majesty at times met the needs of the people and country where the Government could not. I really think it’s a cooperative understanding and balance that is needed to achieve effectiveness and it most definitely can work.

Monarchy is really about the individual and how he or she not only leads the people, but relates to them. In Bhutan, it is also about the spiritual connection to the Kingdom that our monarchs have and this is evident, even to many foreigners who have briefly met Their Majesties; such personalities seem to radiate an aura of their own. What makes a leader great is not of his power, his fame or his wealth; what makes a leader great is his ability to have so much love, compassion and kindness for the whole country and yet be able to remember even the most minute detail of a humble individual that he may have met once ever so briefly. This is what great monarchs have that ordinary leaders do not.

I think His Majesty the Fifth Druk Gyalpo’s Coronation speech speaks far more than any words I could express as to why monarchy could make a difference in the world compared to democracy.

 

“Throughout my reign I will never rule you as a King. I will protect you as a parent, care for you as a brother and serve you as a son. I shall give you everything and keep nothing; I shall live such a life as a good human being that you may find it worthy to serve as an example for your children; I have no personal goals other than to fulfill your hopes and aspirations. I shall always serve you, day and night, in the spirit of kindness, justice and equality. As the king of a Buddhist nation, my duty is not only to ensure your happiness today but to create the fertile ground from which you may gain the fruits of spiritual pursuit and attain good Karma.”

A letter to twenty years from now

Dear Me,
                   Twenty years from now you'll be having a different set of worries from now. Some already imagined and some impossible even in your dreams.
                    You may have grown older but who can say if you've grown any wiser? For we learn each day and every moment. We change, that is the only assurity that I can give. How will you face age? You hope with grace and elegance because its a downhill battle from here on.
                     Your children? Don't even want to think about it but Im sure you hope that with enough love, care, kisses and cuddles, they'll grow up right if you're any proof that a mother's love works.
                      Your main worry I guess is finances and how you are to finance the schooling as you calculate the daily rising prices versus your income. You worry about caring for your mother and her health and whether you will be a good daughter to her and reflect as you look on at other daughters and their mothers.
                      You hope, as every parent does, that your child will turn out to become brilliant valued individuals in society yet who can say whether they will turn out as you wish. You have kept plan B, C and D reserved in case they don't turn out social butterflies and outstanding citizens. And if the boys have a string of one night stands and many illegitimate children, you hope that they take with dignity the answer you already have ready for them, "go out there, work and pay the alimony yourself, they aren't my kids!"
                       You also very much hope that your daughter will have a husband who will carry her handbag when necessary, cook her dinner and breakfast in bed, hug her and sooth her when she is in need of care and calm her when her temper flares.
                        I know you have BIG dreams for yourself that you don't like to share with anyone and this is one reason why you work so hard or maybe you just like being a workaholic...nonetheless I know your little secret of dreams of grandeur and great schemes. This is also one reason why you strive and hope to become better than the tiny person that you are now. I know you think there are big shoes to fill from the family and spiritual legacy left behind and you will struggle and climb till your last breath to ensure that you live it to the full.
                        You may worry about your country and its situation and choose now not to vote just yet, but you will be voting every time from 2018 onwards, but I hope that your judgement will be as sound if not better as you age and vote for wise and steady leaders that will not sell our country to our neighbours for lining their pockets and you hope there are people out there who have a drop of wisdom, care and integrity of our Kings. You hope to even see a female Prime Minister as you secretly know Bhutanese women are tough and may make better leaders than the men right now.
                         As you turn the big 50 in twenty years, you hope that you can look back and know that though you may not become Prime Minister or an actress or singer, that you've made your own unique mark, that you've contributed towards the greater good and touched atleast a few people's hearts enough to make them change for the better. You hope to look back and smile at the life you had and a few tears in your eyes for those who've left before you.
                        Oh and I also know that you plan to dye your hair a shocking pink once it goes grey all over...good for you, go define a new weird kooky cool!!!;p

My 1st Week at the Thangka Conservation Centre

'Welcome to Bhutan. This is the Thangka Conservation and Restoration Centre...'
Our boss Eddie-Ephraim Jose introduces us and shows the tourists around. It is not a tourist destination as yet but word still gets around for those who are interested in art, most especially in Buddhist art. So far we have had most visits from people who live in Hong Kong, China and Singapore.

I work with 4 monks, though there were more...most of them left because they got married, were not well enough to continue working those long hours at the Centre or were sent elsewhere by the Dratsang(monk body).

These four are Lopen Tashi(the oldest and most mature one from our group), Lopen Tenzin(who's slightly deaf but is the most talkative one), Lopen Sonam(who smiles at everything) and Lopen Dawa(who's quite thoughtful and sensitive).
And there's me, the only female working member of the group, supposedly to manage the monks and also learn on the job.

This is my 2nd week here at the Centre and so far I've learnt how to roll thangkas, how to document them via photographs, listing and how to handle them as we move them around. I've learnt how to clean the dirt off the thangka and to 'consolidate' it, which means we have to put this wax-like substance made from fish flakes which look like yellow gelatin and can only be obtained from Japan.

Its long hours, its a lot of fun but also demands much patience and thought and care. It is very good for my Buddhist practice of the being aware of the present and of discipline.

I understand now why Eddie chose monks-this job is something where people involved in it are thoughtful, graceful, meticulous, careful, caring, passionate, patient and have rather a fair degree of self-discipline. All of which traits the monks have and which a lay person might have difficulty with.

Its tough at times but thoroughly enjoying this work!!




 

Udumbara Magazine, May 2013:Guest Editor Message

Dear Readers,
                        as Guest-Editor, I would like to welcome readers to read the Udumbara spring edition for 2013. There are many teachings to be found from eminent masters of our times and also meaningful contributions from our spiritual peers who inspire us daily.
                       These masters and spiritual friends are our glimpse into what inner happiness truely is. It is not to be sought externally nor to be found as one finds things that are bought or gifted; it is something that we carry within us, it is something that is to be discovered...in our own time, through our own experiences and felt with our own hearts.
                       I cannot tell you where or how to discover inner happiness, but I can tell you that I have met many who live it daily, who live it every moment; and these are sometimes Rinpoches or Trulkus but most times they are the people who touch our lives, the ones who inspire us to live a greater and more meaningful life, these are the people who have compassion, love, laughter, kindness, wisdom and wit.
                       We hope that Udumbara serves as a reminder to readers that your life is your message to the world; make sure it's inspiring!!
                       Many a grateful thanks to all our kind contributors and also a special thank you to Rinchen Namgyal, whose inspired wanderings make every edition of Udumbara possible.

                         prayers and best wishes,
                         Kesang Choden