sharing a few pickings from my unimportant and insignificant life(just because I like to write)
Monday, December 29, 2014
Poetry in Motion
This Storm
Standing in the dark, alone and under the rain, under an
umbrella
Watching the storm, listening to the rain drops, the pitter
patter
Its never-ending, this down pour we call a shower
Feeling lost, helpless, without reason or any power
Waiting at the crossroads, whichever way should I go?
So much to lose, so much change, where’ll it end or flow?
I am here, yet my mind is swept up by the winds, swirling
Imperfectly perfect, poised, everything is unfurling,
Inner turmoil, battling, picturesque, scenic.
Tired, poisoned, drowning, I’m feeling frantic.
Smile now, I’m breaking, cracking, bleeding through
Laugh now, I’m crying, falling, seeping through
I am strong, I am weak,
I am powerful, I am meek
Love me, leave me, hate me, believe me
Silently I wonder, where do we stand, where are we?
Should I stay or go? Come now before I fall
Into the eye of the storm.
Maybe Its Me
Perhaps it’s all in my head
Gas lighting, I flicker, I waive, unsure and unsteady on my
feet
Diverting, what I said wasn’t what I meant at all
Like those Christmas lights out the window
And all the beautiful falling snow
Maybe the designs and lines they make, all imaginary
Beautiful faraway, yet up close just a pretty fantasy
Silent treatments, screaming, simmering- the storm rages for
days on end
Calm, forced peace, silence, tense-the quiet returns for an
uncertainty
My enemy, my friend, my lover, my executioner,
Love me, torture me, hate me, leave me,
Watching my steps, weary of the careful words,
Passive aggressive, walking on egg shells
Guilty, raging, crazy-making, frustrated
Maybe it’s just me; maybe it’s all in my head
Falling Apart
My love and the cause of my pain
We hate, we argue and we love- its all in vain.
We stand at opposite sides, polar ends apart
You and I-aren’t we breaking our own hearts?
Maker of our own happiness and suffering
Creating beautiful dreams, Seeing to their destructions in
seconds
I am tired and wearied, burdened and torn apart
Battling with my own demons
Saturday, April 19, 2014
A Personal View on Leadership
Four
months into working as an art restorer and manager, I have understood many
things amongst which human resources and management is one of the most
important aspects. The four monks that I work with are wonderful individuals
and yet at times they do have clashing personalities which make them at
loggerheads most days. From an art restorer’s perspective, this is a good
thing, as argument means that they are thinking about the sacred object they
are working with, how much to restore, how much not to restore, what needs
work, what doesn’t need to be touched in the slightest bit, what method to use
that causes the least damage and so on. But being all males, it tends to get
heated and also majority being from the valley of Haa(reputed for hot
headedness), it tends to get even more heated. So management for constructive
criticism and a consensual agreement is needed and also from time to time, a
time-out or tea-break is taken so that we can put back things in perspective
after cooling down.
Some
days my weaknesses are uncomfortably staring me in the face, like today, I can’t
help either of the two monks working on in-painting in a Thangka because I
don’t know how to paint and would hinder their work rather than help. I am also
a bit on the gentle side, and the monks I feel get frustrated that I don’t push
things fast enough or hard enough. I try to be cool-headed and meticulous about
things as I don’t want to make any mistakes and have the monks pay for it
because I went and said or did the wrong thing. Yet it is very hard to work
with the Monastic Body as well as the Government, the bureaucracy is unnerving
and at times complicated that I wish to understand some of the dynamics before
I dive in.
There
is so much to do and so little time and no matter how much is done, there is
still so much that is not done.
And
since I wasn’t here before I don’t know if I make things worse or better or
whether it is still the same? The monks tell me that it is more organized and
they can restore things more efficiently now, but I still feel that it is only
because I am here and when I go for holidays or long breaks, there is going to
be the same problems all over again without me. I am hoping to organize their
work by assigning them what to do and ofcourse a certain time frame to work in
so that when I am back, they will have some work to present me and for me to
assess before sending the sacred objects back to their respective monasteries.
“Leadership is about making others better as
a result of your presence and making sure that impact lasts in your absence.”
This was the redefined communal definition of leadership in the prestigious
Harvard Business School in the US; or so I read in the book called Lean In by
Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facebook, that was given as a gift by a good friend
to further inspire my otherwise busy life that had many blessings and an equal
amount of shortcomings (all of my own making).
I
didn’t intentionally go out there to become a leader or to make a name for
myself, every opportunity I stumbled upon in my short 29 years on earth wasn’t
intentionally planned to create fame and place myself on a pedestal to be
admired. Whatever came my way, I went and did it because I believed in it, the
cause I was working for and also more importantly because I had (and still
have) a great support system- my ever supportive mother and family, my realist
husband, our three children and all those who help me manage my home life so
that I have time to go out and do what I love to do. And for those who still
don’t believe, I feel extremely uncomfortable in any public situation and this
usually manifests as clumsiness at exactly the most momentous moments; my
family can very well vouch for my frequent idiocy at public functions.
A
good leader doesn’t lead, he or she infact is good at understanding people and
assessing situations and deciding the best outcome. In our Kingdom we are
fortunate to have many wonderful living examples of great leaders- we have
Their Majesties the Fourth and Fifth Kings of Bhutan, we have many members of the
Royal Family and also we have many others who lead by example who are ordinary
citizens with a passion of their cause.
A
leader is not always someone who is in an elevated position in society to make
a difference, a leader is someone who believes so passionately about making a
difference that they bring together many individuals with a similar interest to
create a lasting change or transformation within their communities. A leader is
also someone who voices out what others are afraid to say but feel deeply
about, a leader is someone who cares to make the change, someone who is willing
to stand out and doesn’t mind not ‘fitting-in’ and ‘keeping your head down.’
To
me, my mother is a wonderful example of a leader, yes she does not work and
chose to stay home to take care of me many years ago and now chooses to help me
take care of my children, but to me she is a leader because she is someone who
stands by her word, she is loyal and she is forgiving and most of all she is
selfless in many ways. My mother taught me the importance of truth, integrity,
harmony, ethics, and family and Buddhist values and above all she taught me
about doing what you believe in with humility and genuine feeling. She has
taught me that no matter what others say or do, at the end of the day you are
left with yourself and it is important to do whatever it is that you believe in
with passion, with wholeheartedness and with love because it will give you
great satisfaction and a sense of peace. She taught me to draw strength from
within and to follow your heart and intuition and to always work with a clear
head and good heart.
Some
days I admit, I am not in the best of moods nor is every day a Sunday, but most
days I head out of my bedroom with such intentions and hopefully they last
throughout the day. I have long term goals for sure, but they are never set in
stone, they are set on paper, to be erased, scratched out and changed or
modified depending on the situation and circumstances. I also take it day by
day, and as much as the perfectionist in me likes to bring myself down for not
having done enough, I still try to give myself a pat on the back for finished
‘to-dos’ while giving myself a bit of ‘constructive criticism’ for not having
done others.
Good
leaders are great communicators, they are good at understanding people and
being understood, a very important factor especially in a small society such as
Bhutan. But what makes a truly great leader? It is someone who inspires, who
looks beyond everyday and rises above circumstances to create a better future.
I can think of many exemplar people in our Kingdom who inspire me, the Late
Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche, His Majesty the Fourth King, Her Majesty Royal
Grandmother Kesang Choeden Wangchuck, Dasho Benji, our wonderful medical staff
who work tirelessly around the clock, the art restorer monks I work with,
Rajesh the artist, and I could name so much more. Every person I have met and I
know, they all inspire me in different ways and it is wonderful to be able to
see and understand the beauty of their souls and minds.
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